I’m at this point in life where I often feel that I don’t know what to do next. My job is ok for now, but It was never supposed to be long term, it was supposed to be an in between thing. And now I’m quickly approaching two years there. I don’t want to do it for two more. I’m frustrated with a feeling of getting stalled. I see Ace making progress with his dream while I feel like I’m floundering.
I realized that I need take these frustrations and focus them on achieving what I’ve always wanted to, starting a skatepark. When I sit and think on my options in life that is the only one that sounds totally appealing. I think about in-home daycares, and urban farms, and homesteads and they all have some appeal. But I think about a fantastic, clean, modern skatepark, with a youth center, and classes, and camps, and healthy food and I can’t stop the joy and the dreaming. It takes all my passions and funnels them into one amazing thing. Its just a really really hard thing to make real and it’s overwhelming thinking about what it will take to make it happen Then I think about the people in my life and the things I’ve been a part of and I know its possible.
I’ve always worked for small businesses or jobs where I was basically in charge of myself; dog sitting, the local skatepark, my family’s pizza restaurant, doggy daycare, nannying. Heck, I already helped start a business when we started Light House Church. I was a key member of the launch team and designed every single program for the kids from the ground up. I didn’t use any curriculum the way it came. I dissected them and rebuilt them into what I wanted. Typically it was something far less structured and allowed for actual discussion, not just parroted answers. I learned a lot about how to start a not-for-profit in a different state. Now I need to figure out how to start a for profit business in Oregon. It seems so overwhelming, but yet totally possible at the same time. Maybe that’s why it’s a great idea.
I left Light House to start another church community from the ground up. That wasn’t terribly complicated to be honest. It mostly took a big heart and lots of time, but it is another thing that has helped shape me into who I am. Its another experience in managing a small group of people.
When we came to Oregon we came hoping to start a small business. It was the plan. Then the plan got sidetracked, partly because our down payment on our house used most of our money, and partly because Ace was inspired by the thriving Portland music scene to give his music a legitimate chance in a new place. After some floundering of his own and trying lots of venues and genres for his music he discovered YouTube. Through YouTube he’s found the widest audience for his music yet, as well as a growing community of creators for which he can do custom projects.
I came here hoping to be a stay at home mom. It was soon apparent that we weren’t going to be able to afford that unless Ace got a 9-5 job. I don’t wish that torture on him, so we both got part-time jobs while he pursued his music. He was basically forced to quit his job at the beginning of the year and since has been pursuing music full time. We’ve cut down our bills enough to be able to afford this for now, as long as I’m working about 30hours a week. Now I’m really ready to find something new. I’ve been itching to move on for about 6 months now. I know what I’m going to do. I just need to figure out how to do it.